Allan Findlay - Marriage and Family Counsellor - Newmarket, Toronto, Ontario Affair RecoveryCouples and Marriage CounsellingParent and Teen Counselling & Family Therapy
Quiz: Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair?*


In the new crisis of infidelity, platonic friendships, and workplace relationships are turning into emotional affairs, usually gradually and often without premeditation. It is a slippery slope when boundaries of emotional intimacy are crossed. If you recognize that your friendship or your partner’s friendship may be in the danger zone, use this awareness to address concerns in your marriage. This quiz will help you know where you stand.

True False  
1. Do you confide more in your friend than to your partner about how your day went?
2. Do you discuss negative feelings or intimate details abut your marriage with your friend but not with your partner?
3. Are you open with your partner about the extent of your involvement with your friend?
4. Would you feel comfortable if your partner heard your conversations with your friend?
5. Would you feel comfortable if your partner saw a videotape of your meetings?
6. Are you aware of sexual tensions in this friendship?
7. Do you and your friend touch differently when alone than in front of others?
8. Are you in love with your friend?

Your Score:

Yes No

You get one point for each yes answer to questions 1,2,6,7,8 and one point for no to 3,4,5. If you scored near 0, this is just a friendship, 3 or more you may be more than “just friends”. If you score 7-8 then you are definitely involved in an emotional affair.

* This quiz is by Shirley Glass author of Not Just Friends.

Please email me so I can answer your questions or to make an appointment for couples counselling.

Allan Findlay is a Toronto couples and marriage counsellor, as well as a teen and family counsellor offering counselling services in the Toronto and Newmarket area including Aurora, Bradford, Holland Landing and King City, Ontario.

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