Relationship counselling, couples therapy, family counselling, Toronto

Many couples benefit from a type of therapy called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. It is a structured approach to couples therapy that de-escalates negative interactions and establishes new patterns that promote secure emotional attachments in adult relationships. It is the most successful approach to creating loving relationships and endorsed by the American Psychological Association as scientifically proven method. It has achieved a 75% success rate and 86% of couples report feeling happier in their relationships. See What You Can Expect From Couples Therapy and Relationship Counselling.

Many people benefit from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which helps you to identify and change your thinking and belief patterns so as to improve your mood. When no longer overwhelmed with emotion, it is easier for you to take action and achieve your goals. Cognitive Behavour Therapy is the most scientifically researched and effective personal therapy.

Many families with teens benefit from my extensive knowledge of the psychological development of teenagers and Systemic and Experiential Family. This is a structured approach to family therapy which de-escalates negative interactional patterns and establishes positive emotionally secure connections within the family. This combination is effective in creating more respectful relationships between all family members and guiding teens into adulthood.

Because I have over 25 years of training a wide variety of couples, family and personal therapy and counselling approaches and experience of what works best, I can ensure a good match for you.

Research on successful outcomes in counselling and therapy indicate that just as important as the therapy approach is the match of style and personalities of client and therapist. Clients have reported that as a therapist, I am very approachable and empathic. For example, comments from counselling clients have included the following:

“I immediately felt comfortable in his office - neither judged or rushed. I felt really listened to and that my concerns were real.”

"He is insightful and patient; very skilled at helping us both to become aware of how we were communicating with each other.”

"I came to see Allan for counselling for several periods over the past 6 years. First it was for work related stress, then family and relationship issues and finally my own personal struggles. When I first met him, I had recently separated from a 10 yr marriage and was unhappy with my job. He helped me when I felt overwhelmed by a nasty protracted legal battle with my ex. A few years later, with my new partner, Allan helped me to sort out how issues with my new partner, money issues with his ex and his daughter and my daughters.

However, the key time was last year when I came to see Allan because I had to take a stand with people I loved. Ultimately, the problem at the core of my life was my own family – my brothers, mother and father. I had not realized that I had not truly dealt with my family, who in the past, had caused me so much pain. As a loyal daughter and sister, I had tried for so many years to keep the relationships going. But in doing so, I had allowed them to take advantage of me and my generosity. At times I tried to cut them off completely but that did not seem right. I had to learn how to put boundaries up and stop their manipulation of me. Allan gave me the strength to establish boundaries. Once I discovered the courage to put limits on things, I felt a huge weight lifted from me. Now I am much better and able to cope. I found a way to take control of my life without losing valuable connections with my family. Now within a few days, rather than weeks and months of agonizing, I can work through life changes. Once I learned to take control out of the hands of others, I learned to take charge of my life.

I have met quite a number of therapists over the years, and I would say Allan has been better than most of them by far. I have told a number of people that he is the best. He just knows how to give the right amount of feedback. Some therapists listen and listen and listen and don’t give enough. Allan is a really effective listener and has an effective way of ‘clearing the fog’ for me. When I was going around in circles, he would replay the essence of what I was saying so I was clear about my own thoughts and feelings. Then I could figure out for myself what to do.

As a woman, I always went to see a female therapist figuring they would understand me and be better at helping me. Allan has this remarkable way of connecting with the female perspective and at the same time helping one to understand how men might see things. My partner had seen therapists in the past and told me he thought they were all ‘Bozos’. When he saw Allan, he felt totally differently. He saw his approach to be much more like a coach.”*

What You Can Expect From Couples Therapy and Relationship Counselling

Many couples enter relationship counselling when they are in great distress and when their own efforts to solve the problems have been unsuccessful. Often issues have been developing for years without any success at resolution. Usually one member of the couple is more eager to get help from a couples therapist. Often people think that as a therapist I am going to tell them what is wrong and then tell their partner what he or she needs to do to change. It does not work that way. Instead, I help you build on the strengths in your relationship and guide you to solutions to overcome the challenges you face.

Marriage or relationship counselling can help save some marriages. It can also help you examine the problems and decide whether you have the determination to work on them or not. It is an interpersonal process of learning and self discovery. The more you engage in the process, and are willing to try suggestions despite being sceptical or afraid, the more you will grow as a couple. Regular weekly couples therapy appointments are often necessary at the outset to help you make immediate changes, prevent deterioration and generate hope.

Couples Therapy Sessions

If think you could benefit from couples therapy, please call me for a free 10 consultation.

What You Can Expect From Family Therapy and Parent Counselling

Most parents initiate family counselling when the problems have escalated to an unbearable point and they feel powerless to solve the problems with their teenagers. Often issues have been developing for years without any success at resolution. Some family members are more eager to get help. Most teenagers come to counselling reluctantly.

Family Therapy with adolescents provides a respectful forum for expressing feelings, repairing misunderstandings and learning to negotiate agreements. Regular weekly appointments are often necessary at the outset to help you and your teen make immediate changes, prevent deterioration and generate hope.

Are You Unable to Meet In-Person?

Phone Counselling May Help

The telephone is a very effective way to receive personal therapy when an in-person session is difficult or impractical. It is particularly effective for those who have demanding schedules, are not in the Toronto or Newmarket area, or relate strongly to the voice.

Phone counselling works best when there is only one person present for the counselling session at a time. For example: individuals wanting therapy for relationship issues or parent and teens who attend sessions separately.

Phone counselling is not usually as effective when several people are involved simultaneously for the session. For example: most cases of couples counselling and family counselling when parents and their teens are seen together. However, phone therapy may be appropriate for more than one person on an occasional basis when in-person counselling is not an option. Click here to learn more.

Please email me so I can answer your questions or to make an appointment for couples counselling.

*All anonymous endorsements on this website were given voluntarily by real clients after the completion of their counselling and in keeping with principles of the Code of Ethics and Standards of the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers.

Allan Findlay provides relationship counselling, couples therapy, parent teen counselling, marriage counselling and family therapy in the Toronto and Newmarket area including Aurora, Bradford, Holland Landing and King City, Ontario.

Together we select the most suitable therapy approach to fit with you. Whether it is relationship therapy, family therapy or your personal therapy, I ensure that the type of counselling matches your learning style.

What You Can Expect From Couples Therapy and Relationship Counselling

Couples Therapy Sessions

If think you could benefit from couples therapy, please call me for a free 10 consultation.

What You Can Expect From Family Therapy and Parent Counselling

Are You Unable to Meet In-Person?

Phone Counselling May Help